There’s a lot to be said about Thanksgiving, a holiday tainted with historical revisionism. Despite its past, however, today nearly 95% of all Americans celebrate the holiday in some way. Here are some easily digestible Turkey Day stats to get you in the Thanksgiving mood!
46 million: Number of turkeys eaten
1,100: Number of residential fires reported
1,100: Number of residents regretting buying that turkey fryer
80 million: Pounds of cranberry sauce consumed
55.9 million: Number of “Hand Turkeys” poorly sketched by schoolchildren
1: Number of patrons who used their belt to whip fellow customers at a Vancouver Black Friday Sale
50 million: Number of pumpkin pies eaten
50 million: Number of people who wish they could have had sweet potato pie instead
4: Number of unnecessary bathroom breaks taken to have one goddamn minute to myself, Steven!
Incalculable: Number of “uh-huh”s uttered to placate rambling family members
Happy Holidays, everybody! Be careful out there-especially if you’re Black Friday shopping in Vancouver and see someone coming at you with a belt.
Most of these facts were taken from real sources. Some weren’t. Look, it’s the holidays-lighten up!