How Much Weed Could an NFL Team Buy…
This NFL Season’s Top 3 Free Agent Busts
Following lackluster playoffs, the Super Bowl delivered in a big way with arguably the greatest championship tilt ever. Now that the Patriots have notched their fifth Super Bowl victory, every team in the NFL will be trying to replicate their unbelievable success.
That starts in the offseason with the NFL Draft, trades and free agency. Some teams remain dormant during free agency, others dip their toes in the market and some will spend big.
Take last year, for example, these three players cost their new franchises a lot of money. So much cash that we thought, how much weed could they have bought? Here’s what we found
Backing up the Brinks truck doesn’t always work for NFL teams. Take last year, for example, these three players cost their new franchises a lot of money. So much cash that we thought, how much weed could they have bought? Here’s what we found
Brock Osweiler – 4 years, $72 million ($37 million guaranteed)
John Elway got sooo lucky. The Broncos GM was almost willing to meet Osweiler’s price of $16 million per year before the ridiculously tall QB jetted to Houston to play for the Texans. The Broncos dodged that $37 million bullet like they were Neo in “The Matrix.” Osweiler was arguably the worst starting QB in the NFL in 2016. He was even benched for a guy named Tom Savage, who is, in fact, a real person.
According to priceofweed.com—who else would we trust for such matters?—an ounce of medium quality marijuana costs $279.14. Therefore, a pound comes out to about $4,466. If my math is correct, Osweiler’s $37 million would be worth approximately 8,285 pounds of marijuana. That’s a plethora of weed.
Chase Daniel – 3 years, $21 million ($12 million guaranteed)
Unlike Osweiler, Daniels didn’t start a game this season, yet he was paid $8 million to look good on the Eagles’ sidelines in 2016. In fact, Daniels statline this year was a whopping 1-for-1 for 16 yards. That’s $8 million per completion and $2 million per yard. What a life.
Daniel’s $12 million of guaranteed money could get us a multitude of weed, sure, but we want some good shit, not medium quality marijuana. So we’re going with Isla OG—smoked by 2 Chainz on his hit show “Most Expensivest Shit”—worth reportedly $800 per ounce ($12,800/pound). With $12 million, that’s 937.5 pounds of the stickiest of the icky.
Olivier Vernon – 5 years, $85 million ($52.5 million guaranteed)
The Giants went on a spending spree this offseason to improve their defense. No player on the G-Men was paid more in the offseason than Vernon’s $85 million contract, with $52.5 million of it guaranteed. Vernon came on stronger throughout the year, but at $17 million per year, All-Pro numbers are to be expected.
At $52.5 million, the Giants could have purchased 11,755 pounds of medium quality marijuana instead of 8.5 sacks.