Lifestyle, News, Opinion, Oregon

STONER ARCHIVE: Remembering Our Favorite Cannabis Stories

By: Matthew Criscione

This year for 420 we took to the streets seeking out your best cannabis stories, in honor of the holiday. We ran into a lot of interesting people on our ventures and gathered a few of the best (and strangest) ones.

Jason Horvath:
“My first time I definitely got high! We were young, and it was fall in Virginia. We went behind a school and made a bong out of a Sunny D bottle…I think we even used the juice as bongwater. I don’t remember what was on the radio, but I remember feeling like I was in Star Wars, being pressed back into my seat. I watched the snow fall in the dim of the headlights. I was giggling with a perma-grin on my face the whole ride back into the city. I remember thinking, I want to do this every day of my life. It stills goes down in my book as one of my all-time favorite stoner moments.”

Julz:

“I have several stories, but this one recently happened to me. My friend had a headache and I offered him a dab for relief— dabs relieve almost anything! I was going to hand my friend the dab rig and noticed it was dirty. Not being a rude host, I cleaned out the rig for him. As I was cleaning I had the idea to take some of the re-claim oil that collected and apply it to a fresh gingerbread cookie. I thought to myself, ‘Wow, this is delicious!’ It was so good I decided to eat another, and another and another. Well, that day I was supposed to move stuff from a storage unit into my house. My roommates found me in bed almost crying saying, ‘I can’t feel my legs!’ Any time my friends are troubled I usually say, ‘Smoke some weed,’ so they thought it’d be funny to offer me bong hits as I slowly replied, ‘NO. MORE. WEED!’ The moving went as planned, except for me passing out on that bed for most of the time! That kicked my ass for a couple of days.”

Kole Kafentzis:
“The first time I ate edibles my cousin was heading out to the movies with his girl, and offered me some brownies he had stashed in his drawer. I ate one, and not feeling anything after 20 minutes decided to eat the entire stash. My family was coming over that day—we’re talking around 40 people. While my brothers and cousins were playing games and horsing around, I was laughing on the floor while my 12-year-old nephews were wondering what was wrong with me. Not much time passed until I was passed out, and 11 hours later I found myself making friends with a large pizza!”

Nick W.:
“The first time I convinced my mom to smoke with me was very memorable. This was before any of the testing that we do today. The bag I had must have been a sativa because my mom had a couple puffs and went straight to cleaning the house. A little while later a neighbor came to our cove by boat, asking about a dock repair. Mom thought it was the cops or someone trying to buy the house, she was hiding behind the couch in full paranoid mode. Now that we have all this information available I’ve shared some very relaxing moments with her, and have helped her solve some other medical issues by removing the stigmatism and mystery of cannabis.”

Lee Popa:
“I have quite a bit of rock memorabilia. My friend is Paul Raven, the bass player from Killing Joke, may he rest in peace. The [Berlin] Wall came down in November of ‘89 and we went in January to do a gig. That show was the first rock show since the wall fell, and I was an American guy so I went with the English guys. When I saw Poland and everything like that, I could see that they had nothing. Plastic shoes. We had a bunch of cassettes and t-shirts, basically stuff we had stolen from the label to use on our trip. We thought we would be the ambassadors of swag to this recently freed nation and handed this stuff over to our local sound guy. He kept telling us, “I love you guys, anything you need.” We said, “Well, we’d really like to get some pot!”

Now bear in mind that the KGB and the full military regime still hasn’t decided if this little experiment was going to last. And the police presence was noticeable. A couple of days pass, and we hadn’t seen the sound guy. We figured he skipped town, but Paul started yelling, “Oy, there’s ya boy” and our lost sound guy was there, ushering us to his Lada (the only car available in East Germany at the time), where he lifted the hood of the engine and pulled out an entire cannabis plant from the air filter. Still had the root ball attached! We were expecting a couple grams, not a six foot tall plant! Suddenly it dawns on us—we’re in a communist country, this could send us to jail!

Speaking to the potency, John Bachtell—who is now the keyboardist for Ministry—said after smoking a joint, “I don’t know what they got, but they got it!”

I ran into that sound guy at the Korn tour in 2007! He still lived in Poland, and said he still had some of those shirts as a testament to freedom in such an uneasy time.”

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