Dear British Broadcasting Corporation, creators of the Planet Earth series:
We’re living in dark times. Now, more than ever, we need to ask the tough questions—regardless of belief system or political alignment. We’re all in this together. And if we don’t find common ground, the results could be disastrous. I think you know what I’m talking about. BBC, we need answers. Find us definitive proof of the existence of Bigfoot.
Here at DOPE Magazine, we’ve long been fans of the Planet Earth series. The technical advancements utilized in both seasons of your show are unparalleled—no other nature series even comes close. It’s the perfect show for winding down and relaxing. Unless, of course, an epic chase occurs. In your own words, Planet Earth II was shot with the following: “22 cameraman, more than 40 production staff, 117 expeditions in 40 countries, 20189 shooting days, filming more than 50 species.”
With your use of camera traps, gyro-stabilization techniques and low-light cameras, you’ve captured some of those most stunning and unique animal footage ever committed to film. You braved a treacherous journey to the remote Zavodovski Island for Planet Earth II, undertaking more than a year of planning to simply coordinate the trip, all to shoot footage of Chinstrap Penguins. Why not do the same in the Himalayas, and capture a sighting of the Abominable Snowman?
You’ve photographed previously undocumented animals plenty of times, like Planet Earth II’s footage of Araguaia river dolphins. If those dolphins can be filmed rather surrealistically swimming past trees in a flooded jungle, who’s to say getting a shot of Bigfoot stomping around the grounds of Mt. St. Helens is impossible?
Now, we understand how difficult it can be to capture the amazing sights chronicled in the Planet Earth series. Photographers sometimes spend weeks, even months, staking out a shot that lasts only a few seconds. Timing is also everything, as the animal world is quite unpredictable; in Planet Earth II, you documented a spider monkey save his young daughter from a near-disastrous fall. Finding evidence of a Cryptozoological creature requires a similar combination of luck—you’re well on your way to helping us find out the truth!
BBC, we implore you, from the bottom of our DOPE hearts—utilize the technology you’ve so brilliantly displayed in your groundbreaking Planet Earth series, and help us prove the existence of these creatures once and for all. You’re our only hope.
With sincerest regards,