Show of hands—how many people grew up masturbating silently? Either your parents were in the next room or you shared a room with a sibling? My hand is definitely in the air on this one. I had to actually train myself to make noises during sex. Think about the last time your partner made positive pleasure noises while you were being intimate. It was kind of an ego boost, right? That’s because sound is a way of expressing feedback, as well as shifting energy and deepening connection.
Vocalization to connect with your partner can also benefit from cannabis use, according to Benjamin, a 30-year-old vocalization teacher for sexuality. “They both help tap into body sensations and emotions,” he said. “The synergistic effects can be explosive, pleasurable and beneficial for the relationship.”
Here are some tips to help you get there. As a reminder, cannabis affects everyone differently so don’t feel bad if you don’t find it impacting your vocalizing abilities. These exercises will still be helpful:
✿ Get a nice buzz on before you masturbate and practice making noises out loud when you’re alone. You’re training your brain that it is normal and acceptable to make noise while you’re experiencing pleasure. This will take time and practice, so get fapping! Also experiment with different methods of consumption and doses to see which one is most conducive to making noise. Since cannabis can make your pleasure centers come online in a variety of different ways, try new ways of touching your body to see how they feel, and then make a noise that seems to match with that sensation.
✿ Many people in my workshops have mentioned that making noise during sex gives them anxiety. If that’s the case for you, pick a strain or product that’s good for anxiety relief. “People with anxiety can be hyper self-conscious during sex, including about the noises they make,” said Sean, 39. “When using cannabis, I certainly laugh more, talk more and vocalize more as I completely forget to be self-conscious, second guess myself, and edit myself in order to present a certain way that will be acceptable to my partner. My absolute favorite is a sativa dominant hybrid like Blue Dream or Girl Scout Cookies. For me, this feels like a muscle relaxant for the brain. I literally forget that I have generalized anxiety.”
✿ Try different sounds for different effects: I learned these at Benjamin’s class on vocalization and they’ve been super useful for me. Imagine sinking into a hot bubble bath. What sound comes to mind? For a lot of people, that sound is “Ahhh”—the sound of relaxation. That vocalization helps calm and center your energy. Another is the sound that athletes make in a huddle, the “Huh huh huh” sound, which amplifies and intensifies energy. There are sounds like “Oooh” and “Ohhhh” and “Mmmmm” which communicate pleasure. If you want to electrify your energy, try out “Tsss” like a snake. It can make it feel like your breath is sizzling in your partner’s ear. Then there’s my favorite, the “Growl,” which indicates desire and lust. Try them all and see how they impact your experience.
✿ Take care of your throat: Sometimes, when I get a little overly enthusiastic with my vocalization, my throat gets dry and I end up coughing (especially after smoking a bowl). Make sure you have some water on hand, or even a piece of gum or a lozenge. Keep your throat moist and your body hydrated.
I field tested each of these techniques—my job is awesome—and found them helpful, but everyone is different! I’d love to hear how your vocalizing abilities are impacted by cannabis.